


Trust

by AshsHorrorShow



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: (At First Anyway), Basically These Guys Need to Learn to Talk Things Out Like GOSH, M/M, Trust Issues, eventual established relationship, mentions of sex but nothing explicit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-10-01 23:04:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10202834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshsHorrorShow/pseuds/AshsHorrorShow
Summary: Trust is something that's hard to earn. Shizuo and Izaya both know that lesson well.





	

It had taken six months before Shizuo Heiwajima finally trusted Izaya Orihara to enter his apartment. Before that time, whenever the two of them would decide to “meet up”, they would always go over to Izaya’s place. He’d made sure it stayed this way, always giving some excuse on why they couldn’t possibly head to his apartment, even if it happened to be much closer than Izaya’s. Stuff like “I don’t need your flea smell stinking up my apartment” or “Your place has a comfier bed than mine.” 

Izaya would always give him a look before simply shrugging or jabbing some kind of insult at him and leading the way to his apartment. Shizuo knew the flea probably hadn’t ever fallen for any of the stuff he said. He had always been a terrible liar and Izaya had always been way too good at reading people for his own good. Shizuo was pretty sure that Izaya knew the real reason he didn’t want him anywhere near his apartment. That reason being he didn’t trust the flea at all. 

Could anyone really blame him though? Izaya had made it a habit of his to make Shizuo’s life a living hell whenever he could. This was the same man who’d been willing to send mobs after him and had even sent him to jail once just for shits and giggles. Who knew how much the bastard would be willing to go just for a laugh? He didn’t let the fact that they occasionally fucked every now and then fool him into thinking that their relationship still wasn’t frayed and alit with animosity. 

He knew realistically, Izaya probably already knew where he lived but it was the principle of it all. He didn’t want his home destroyed or looted by some random mobsters who thought they were tough shit. But one day, he caved. He blamed it on the fact that he was tired for once after work. It had been a busier and more annoying day than usual and he didn’t have the energy to really do anything other than go home and collapse on his bed. He blamed the exhaustion on why he didn’t chase Izaya off when he came flouncing over to “meet up." He just wanted to go home and if that meant letting Izaya trot home with him instead of walking over to the city over, then so be it. Consequences be damned. 

He remembered the flea had actually thrown him a look of surprise when they stopped in front of the door of his apartment, like the bastard had never expected this kind of outcome in a million years. Thankfully, the flea was smart enough to keep his mouth shut and not make any snide comments, which Shizuo had been grateful for. Even despite his tiredness and his willingness to let Izaya in without complaint, he still felt somewhat antsy, especially when he saw Izaya’s vermillion-red eyes observing and scanning every nook and cranny of the apartment, no doubt mentally cataloguing everything. Shizuo reminded himself to calm down and not say anything. If he was too open about his distrust, he basically left himself open to Izaya’s mockery. So, he simply hurried into his bedroom, Izaya padding after him in the hopes of perhaps convincing him to do their usual meet up activities. 

Nothing bad ever occurred to his apartment. Izaya never sent a group of thugs to wreck the place or anything fucked up like that, which Shizuo couldn’t help but feel immensely relieved by. The worst he ever got from the flea was the bastard complaining about how shitty his apartment was in comparison to his. This was annoying, but a whole lot more tolerable. 

In fact, the knowledge that Izaya hadn’t stepped over his one act of trust is what gave Shizuo that first spark of hope that this… _thing_ they had going on actually had a chance of moving forward and becoming something _real_ , as schmaltzy as that sounded. 

He apparently hadn’t been the only one in the relationship who had trust issues. It had taken ten months into their relationship before Izaya finally fell asleep around Shizuo by himself without having to make sure that Shizuo fell asleep first. The flea had done a good job at covering this little secret up. It had been very subtle. 

At the beginning, there had been none of this sleeping in one's bed thing. No, it had been more like they would meet up, fuck, and then the other would collect their shit and promptly leave. But as time went on, it became more customary for one to stay and hang around just a little while longer. They still hadn’t reached the point of spending the night at the others houses, but they certainly were in no hurry to leave either like they used to be. It used to be one of them had to have an excuse on why they were still hanging around - they had to take a shower, wanted to eat breakfast, had some stuff to do, etc. - but eventually even that rule eventually disappeared. The first night Shizuo decided he would stay over and sleep, the two of them hadn’t even had a conversation about it. They just did it. 

But it seemed even though Izaya wasn’t vocally uncomfortable with Shizuo sleeping at his place, it seemed like he didn't trust him completely. 

One of the reasons he think he didn't notice for so long was the fact Izaya rarely went to bed anyway. The flea was a night owl by nature and always seemed to have work of some kind to tend too… so he usually was spending the night busily working while Shizuo was actually being a normal human being and going to bed at a reasonable hour. He sometimes wondered if the flea’s bloodstream consisted only of caffeine… and that was how the bastard was able to pull so many all-nighters or late nights in a row and still be peppy, annoying, and energetic as always during the day.

Once, Shizuo had forced Izaya to try and sleep with him… only to immediately regret it. He didn’t know if it was simply due to pent up energy or if Izaya had insomnia or was just being annoying… but Izaya had made that night a hellhole. Not only did the louse squirm and wriggle the whole entire time, which had been distracting, but he had kept jabbing him with his pokey elbows and frigid feet. By the end of it all, neither of the them had gotten any sleep and both had been annoyed at each other the rest of the day - Izaya being annoyed due to how much work he apparently missed because of Shizuo’s barbarism and Shizuo annoyed because he never felt more tired than he had that day. So he was fine with letting the flea expend his energy and go to sleep when ready. 

However, despite popular belief, even the great Izaya got tired eventually. The nights when Izaya was clearly bone-tired and was willing to curl up with him was when Shizuo began to notice. The flea would get comfortable and stand still and breathe silently… but Shizuo could see that the bastard wouldn’t be lulling himself to sleep. Instead, he would just lay in silence… occasionally glancing at Shizuo only to look away quickly if he saw Shizuo was still awake, trying to pretend like he hadn’t done that little move. Shizuo would always be confused but didn’t question it, figuring Izaya would brush it off with some unsatisfying or stupid answer and honestly… he wanted to sleep.

He didn’t even get the satisfaction of seeing Izaya asleep in the morning. The informant always woke up incredibly early and somehow managed to slip away silent as a phantom. He couldn’t help but wonder why the flea seemed so bothered about being in the same bed as him, until one day it hit him. The flea didn’t trust him. 

All the times Izaya had been unexplainably awake when he was clearly dead tired was just the flea biding his time, patiently waiting for him to fall asleep before he did. 

He’d gotten so angry at that revelation that he had immediately wanted to march over to the flea’s apartment and deck him across the face. Unfortunately, work had him trapped so he was forced to vent some of his frustration out on one of Tom-san’s more uncooperative clients. Even he knew that he had probably punched the guy a little than necessary even before Tom chided him about it, but he couldn’t bring himself to care all that much. He was too pissed off and worried about his own problems to worry about the sake of some loser, and besides the guy wasn’t dead judging by the way he was moaning, so it was fine.

Mixed in with that bubbling hot anger was a bit of hurt (though he’d never admit it), as it only confirmed his thoughts that even with all the time they spent together, Izaya still thought he was an untrustworthy monster. After all, what did you call a person who Izaya thought would be willing to kill him in his sleep?

His anger simmered all the way through work and all the way back to Izaya’s apartment. He was sure his anger showed clearly on his face given the way many of the citizens of Ikebukuro and Shinjuku seemed to make a point of scuttling away from him as they saw him approaching, but he still felt the need to emphasize it and let the flea and everyone know. So when he reached the flea’s doorway, he proceeded to kick the thing open with a heavy crash, probably putting a decent sized hole in Izaya’s wall with the doorknob. Good. Much to his petulant joy, Izaya flinched at the loud noise, before glaring at him as he said, “Any reason for the sudden barbarism, Shizu-chan?”

When Shizuo angrily ground out that he figured out Izaya’s little ploy, he watched as the flea’s eyes actually widened for a fraction of a second, exposing him for a moment before he put the calm mask back on. The flea had let out a soft sigh through his nose, and deflated a little like a balloon. For a moment, Shizuo actually thought the bastard was being remorseful, but he supposed the resulting disappointment was his fault for thinking Izaya was capable of such a human emotion. Instead the flea bit out, “My Shizu-chan, you actually managed to impress me. I didn’t think a single-minded protozoan such as yourself would be so observant. I guess I can take comfort in the fact that I am not just a simple fuck toy to you as previously believed…”

Shizuo had been about to fling Izaya’s dining table at him in anger. He really had been. The flea’s words, as always, were covered in barbs and were purposely intended to cause hurt and make Shizuo angry enough to regress once more. It was the same old schtick repeating itself once more. But that table never got thrown. Mainly because right as Shizuo was moving to grab it, Izaya deflated like a balloon and ran a hand through his hair, dismissively waving his free hand in the air as he said, “As funny as it is that I might have actually potentially hurt your feelings, beast, I can assure you that my reluctance to sleep with you is not solely because of you alone, Shizu-chan.” He let out a derisive snort, chucking, “As if I’d be afraid of you…”

Shizuo decided for the sake of his own blood pressure not to get too pissed off about the condescending tone as he said, “No? Then what the hell is it then, flea?”

He thought the flea would do his annoying little habit of talking in circles and avoiding the topic like he had a tendency to do when things got a little personal, but he surprised Shizuo by simply shrugging and said, “My job doesn’t allow one to sleep comfortably next to people, Shizu-chan. Even someone of your meager intelligence should know that, neh? Mix that with insomnia and a busy work schedule and sleep doesn’t come easy for me. Call my lack of willingness to sleep next to you ‘residue paranoia’ from the job like Shinra does, I don’t care. Either way, the result is the same.”

Shizuo could understand where Izaya came from to a degree. He really did. He knew Izaya’s job got him tangling with nasty people. People who would be willing to off anyone if it meant they got to line their pockets with a few extra dollars by the end of the day. He also knew that Izaya probably had a whole list of people who would be glad to see him dead and mangled on the streets. Hell, only months ago, Shizuo had been one of those people. If he were to really think about it, he knew Izaya’s paranoia in the grand scheme of things was not too out of place. 

But damn it, a relationship was supposed to be grounded in trust and even if he could see Izaya’s rationale, that didn’t mean he had to be happy and accept it.

Despite his feelings on the subject, what could he do about it? He’d tried to trick Izaya into falling asleep first, but his body always seemed to betray him, either falling asleep first or he just couldn’t play the part of a sleeping person convincing enough for Izaya. The only other thing he could really imagine doing was knocking the flea out to get him to actually go to sleep first… but he doubted that would make Izaya eager to sleep with him or trust him for that matter. So he just grudgingly accepted the fact that Izaya was going to need time and waited.

It had taken a while, but one day, it finally happened. The two of them had been lying naked in bed, basking in the afterglow of their bedroom activities, occasionally idly chatting about something or giving each other lazy kisses. Izaya had softly asked him what he wanted for dinner tomorrow (he had taken to letting Izaya cook for him seeing as the flea was a much better cook than he was and hadn’t attempted to poison him yet…), and Shizuo had answered back… only to get no response back. This surprised him as usually Izaya would always spring on the opportunity to lecture him on his unhealthy diet, but the flea was docilely quiet. He looked down to see what was going on, and he nearly had a heart attack when he saw Izaya softly sleeping next to him, head lying on Shizuo’s chest. He had immediately froze, fearing any slight movement would be enough to jolt Izaya from sleep and ruin this little moment. He didn’t know if Izaya purposely fell asleep next to him or had simply been so tired that he drifted off on his own accord, but he didn’t care. All he knew was that he was not waking him up.

So, moving as gently as he could, he made sure that he himself got in a comfortable position, aiming to go to sleep himself, feeling overly-giddy at the fact that Izaya was actually curled up next to him. Despite his fear of waking the flea up, he couldn’t resist the urge to gently wrap his arm around the flea’s waist and gently resting his chin on top of the flea’s head, letting soft black hair brush against his cheek. He fell asleep soon after, and when he woke up, he was delighted to see Izaya awake in his arms, still pressed against him and not commenting on the fact that they had fallen asleep together. Shizuo knew better than to mention it either. The two of them just enjoyed the moment and since then, Izaya would occasionally fall asleep next to him if he was tired enough.

For the next few months, they kept extending their trust of the other to whole new levels. Two months after the sleeping incident, the two of them gave each other keys to the others apartment. Another month later, they were actually giving each other gifts on the holidays without even asking first or feeling embarassed by the action. Four months after that, they were opening up to each other way more than they had before, not being afraid to let out more personal details. For Shizuo, that last one was easier than it was for Izaya, who still was very guarded… but Shizuo knew that sometimes it took a while for Izaya to get comfortable with things and he was just going to have to be patient.

The biggest moniker finally came though one day, as they were on the couch watching some news report about yet another weirdo in Ikebukuro doing something strange, Shizuo felt Izaya tap at his wrist. Looking down at the pest, he saw Izaya looking almost bashful. That was a sight he never thought he would ever see in his lifetime. He was about to question, when Izaya suddenly spit it out. 

“Shizu-chan… I want you to move in with me.”

Shizuo himself found himself knocked into silence for a moment, watching as a blush suddenly colored Izaya’s face and the flea ducked his head to hide it, tacking on, “Because honestly, Shizu-chan’s apartment is so small and the bed is going to wreck my spine…” But Shizuo knew the flea was just trying to cover up his embarrassment.

He was sure if he allowed it, Izaya would’ve babbled on more and more about this or that, but thankfully, Shizuo was there to shut him up. Wrapping his arm around the flea’s waist, he tugged the flea over and crashed his mouth into his, drinking in Izaya's gasp of pleasure from the bold move. Shizuo pulled away from the kiss to breathe, “Of course I will move in with you, you fucking idiot.”

He had to say, the excitement that glinted in Izaya’s eyes made him look way too cute for his own good.

It had taken them quite a while to get to this point. Trust wasn’t an easy thing to build, after all. But Shizuo was proud of how far they came… and he had to say, he was excited for the future to come.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes! I managed to get one story done this Spring Break. Goal accomplished!
> 
> Finally this is done! This idea came to me mainly because a good relationship I think always has to have a foundation of trust... and as I was thinking about it, I thought trust might take a long time to develop between these two. Shizuo rightfully because canonically, Izaya has kind of manipulated and been a general ass his whole life so... but Izaya probably has his own trust issues. Being an informant probably would do that to a person, plus, I never saw him being one to give into his own emotions very well. So I wanted to make a fic kind of showing their stepping stones.
> 
> Every Shizaya of mine is really domestic... perhaps I should join in on the gritty, emotional stuff soon. Hm. 
> 
> As always, critique is wanted and I hope you enjoyed.


End file.
